*KALI by Janice Duke*
Sometimes in life you have to get so thoroughly disgusted with a situation that it forces you to FINALLY make those long overdue changes in life in your highest and best interest (and consequently the highest and best interest of all those around you).
I’m really tired of the fear and the victimhood in the world… a lot of this irritation, I understand, comes from a space of undone “shadow work” (needing to reclaim healed pieces of imbalance within myself instead of cutting “unwanted” aspects of humanity out of my life).
But even so… I know that if three years ago someone were to walk up to me and say, “This is what’s going to happen in a few years: with all that wear and tear, your health will be compromised in ways you’ve never been challenged before, it will be scary, you’ll consider quitting, you’ll stare at death and get to know her intimately, your relationships with your ‘family’ will be tested and soon completely eradicated from your life, you will be hit and attacked on all spheres of your life to challenge you…all of this… all of this will occur because you stuck to your guns and moved forward with your convictions…you’ll ruminate and torture yourself with thoughts of ‘is it worth it?’ and ‘how much more can I handle? If I even can?'”
If I heard all that, I would be shaking in my boots and seriously consider giving up on this work for the first time in my life.
Today, though I am much weaker and more tired than I’ve ever been in my entire life, I am ALSO more inspired, determined and passionate in this moment now to persevere. Sure, I am in that space of upheaval, of change (which is always good – it keeps us moving) and of great opposition to everything I believe in… Sure… But I think about my clients, my friends, even strangers who have benefited from this work (even in small ways, but even so, it means the world to me)… and I think of all the fulfillment and love it brings to my life every single f**king day, and you know what?
I SAY BRING IT!!!
Kites fly higher against the wind… and all those forces that are so adamant about bringing me grief: thank you! I only grow from this. And… in a few weeks, I’ll be able to say you’re very welcome BRING IT! I am not afraid anymore. I have too much good left to do with this beautiful life. And if some things have to die to make room for new birth and creation, so be it. I’m ready. Stagnation is the only real death in existence. I know that much.